When David Letterman retired after doing late night comedy TV for 32 years, he asked a group of his comedian friends to come on his last show and do some jokes to send him off. Here is Jerry Seinfeld's, who has been touring NZ (with a little adaptation):
Something We've Always Wanted to Say to the Staff of Newshub
The good citizens of NZ would like to tell you that we have no idea what we will do when you go off the air. You know, we just thought of something. We'll be fine.
There are so many other left-biased news sources in NZ, which in the jargon of economics, are "perfect substitutes" for one another, its hard to know which one to replace you with.